I attempted suicide only once, but I think about it often.
I was not a believer when I tried to quit life, but I literally met Jesus on that day. He stepped in to take my place, like a divine stunt double. It was an intensely spiritual experience, and it left me in belief – now I know that God, The Creator, exists. He is real, and everything He says and does can be trusted. This is why I live.
I agree, as The Bible explains, that God chooses to give faith to some, but that He hopes for all of us to receive it. He offers it freely to everyone, through circumstances or simply the beauty of creation. I pray for understanding of the human part in rejecting or accepting it. It’s possible there may be none, because
2 Corinthians 4:4
The ruler of this world has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They cannot see the light of the Good News – the message about the Divine Greatness of Christ.
Christ is The One who is exactly like God.
But God did get through to me, and so, daily, I choose to continue desperately clinging to my Savior. I think this is The Choice In Being Chosen. It is a determined reaction – like fight or flight, but carefully thought out. Reasoned out. I reevaluate every option, but I can not deny what I know to be true. So I decide against giving up.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
That is why we never give up. Our physical body is becoming older and weaker, but our spirit inside us is made new every day.
We have small troubles for a while now, but these troubles are helping us gain an eternal glory. That eternal glory is much greater than our troubles.
So we think about what we can not see, not what we see. What we see lasts only a short time, and what we can not see will last forever.
Therefore, being unable to refute the evidence of all six of my senses, I live with hope. Whenever I wonder, “Why?” I have to consider the uniqueness of my life. It has been unbelievable, miraculous so many times. Again and again, I can conclude only that there must be reason behind it. There must be meaning, given – not by me, but by my Maker.
What could it be?
1 Peter 2:9, 21, 23
He chose you (believers) to tell about the wonderful things He has done. He brought you out of the darkness of sin into His wonderful light.
This is what you were chosen to do. Christ gave you an example to follow. He suffered for you. So you should do the same as He did.
…He let God take care of Him. God is the one who judges rightly.
The purpose is living out what God has already done: He saved me. He is giving me a second chance, for the second-thousandth time. Is this not something to boast about??
“But if someone wants to brag, then left them brag about this:
Let them brag that they learned to know me… that they understand that I am the Lord, that I am kind and fair, and that I do good things on earth. I love this kind of bragging.” This message is from the Lord.
There is a foundational choice: to believe. And I intentionally build upon this the Fruit of the Spirit: peace, joy, love, patience, kindness, goodness (humility), faithfulness, gentleness, and, above all, self-control. All these are choices I make for how I behave. They are each a product of the self-control that faith provides, of knowing that God is asking me to act a certain way. And others see (and hear) my actions more loudly than my words.
1 Thessalonians 4:4,7
God wants each one of you to learn to control your own body. Use your body in a way that is holy and that gives honor to God.
God chose us to be holy. He doesn’t want us to live in sin.
Sin is pursuing my unfulfillable desires. Lust of the flesh and eyes, and claiming pride in my own efforts instead of recognizing and confessing and admitting that there is one who is greater than I am. One who is Master. I am one part, small but crucial in some way, of Him who is the Whole.
1 Peter 2:12,18
There is one body but it has many parts. But all its parts make up one body…
God has placed each part in the body just as He wanted it to be.
Oh, I still doubt, frequently. I am an unsteady foot, distracted by my desire to be some more glorious part of the body, something ‘higher up’. I stumble and trip on the cracks of each day. I follow self-pity right down to that same old decision point. And God’s hand is always there to lift me back up, that others might know.
2 Corinthians 4:15
…and so the Grace of God is being given to more and more people…