Epiphany

light-dawnsWhen, in an instant, you realize everything that’s true – because of what literally just happened to you, which backs up and proves all the evidence you’ve sensed all along.

This is how I would describe my “Spiritual Experience”. My moment of salvation. It happened in a flash – really a series of “BANG” revelations in the span of 24 hours – that I experienced like that filmmakers’ tool of silent, milliseconds-short jump cuts to quickly summarize intense action. It may have taken days, weeks, months, years to grasp and accept, but that initial halo of light’s explosion cannot ever leave my mind’s eye.

I’d heard the story before – it even made fairytale sense, especially as an opiatic idea of controlling the masses developed by some churchy, pre-socialistic, elite, priest-class in the distant past. BUT, in a blindingly-bright instant, the factfulness of it slammed into my being, my awareness – literally leaving me gasping for breath and in complete shock. It was REAL.

This is how I described that coming to terms in a Journal Entry, April 6, 2009:

I am what I do today.
I am sexually pure for my wife.
I confess my wrongs and ask forgiveness.
I serve by doing my best.
I forgive myself by living Christ’s example.
I will await God’s timing.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.
1 John 3:16a

I forgive myself by living Christ’s example.
forgivenessA man, who had never sinned because he was the Son of God, allowed himself to be killed in a horrible way – in my place. [This entry is almost a year after I began my recovery journey, and nine months after The Epiphany.] I was put on trial for all the (I thought) hidden evil, all the wrongs I have done. I was found guilty and I was sentenced to be put to death by being nailed to a cross and left there to die.

God gave us Jesus to die for our sins. And he raised him to life, so that we would be made acceptable to God.
Romans 4:25

But this man came forward and took my place voluntarily. He died in my place. And, instead, I was pardoned, absolved, forgiven, set free to start over, to live again – knowing this time of the law, of the way to live free from sin, from wrong-doing. This man’s example of love, of sacrifice, is that way.

What was he thinking?? He was at my trial. He heard the charges against me: pure selfishness, greed, hurtful words, lustful perversity, negligence of those in my care, drunkenness, laziness, gluttony, sloth, pride, vanity, lies, self-delusion, avoidance, isolation, me, me, me. Why, knowing the charges to be fact, to be true – why would he willingly suffer excruciating pain and torment – equal in weight to my sins – in my place?

God took the sinless Christ and poured into him our sins. Then, in exchange, he poured Christ’s goodness into us!
2 Corinthians 5:21

giftGuilty I am of all. Deserving of justice, of punishment- not deserving of life. Yet he steps forwards and dies for me. And I am absolved of all sin. I am given a clean slate. And more: for all the condemnation that others have for me, all the despisement, is transferred to him as well.

And we ought to lay down our lives for others.
1 John 3:16b

But there is a condition: Now, I must become like that man myself.

[Addendum] It is not the condemnation of society nor any legal consequences of our sins that Jesus eliminates. It is our need of self-hatred [of self-condemnation] because of that sin. Jesus allows us to live again with ourselves. We know for ourselves that we are forgiven [by the highest judge]; that we can forgive ourselves; that we can continue to live in this world and have a hope to reach the next. We are able to be like new.

sparklerBut we owe him for what he has done for us. [Incredibly, all that]  we owe him [is] belief and love. [What could be easier?]

God says he will accept us and acquit us – declare us not guilty – if we trust in Jesus Christ to take away our sins. And we can all be saved in the same way, by coming to Christ, no matter who we are or what we have been like.
Romans 3:22

One thought on “Epiphany

  1. I love your thoughts on sexual purity. That is also my motivation to be pure for my wife in the future n my Jesus in the ever present moment. Please let me know if you want me to blog about anything specific. Jehovah bless

    Liked by 1 person

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